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Valentine’s Day…what a load of crap !
I can’t stand Valentine’s Day. I really can’t. I can’t stand the cards and I can’t stand the cheesy music. I really can’t stand them. You see. I’m single guy and Valentine’s Day just reminds me of that fact. For me, Valentine’s Day is a reminder that I’m alone. Valentine’s Day reminds me that I don’t have anyone to give roses to. It reminds me that I don’t have anyone to listen to cheesy, romantic music with. Valentine’s Day really rubs my face in the fact that I’m a loser in love. I really can’t stand that. In fact I hate Valentine’s Day. I abhor it. I loathe it. Do you get the picture?
Let’s start with the music. It’s cringe worthy Radio and TV stations go into romantic overdrive. Don’t shake your head and tell me that I’m imagining all this. Seriously, I really can’t stand the cheesy music that radio stations play on Valentine’s Day. That’s not to say that I’m music a snob. I enjoy a love song from time to time. I even enjoy a bit of Mariah Carey in the shower. But Valentine’s Day just takes it to a whole new level. Come on!!! You know exactly what I mean. You turn on the radio on the way to work and it’s love, love, love. You turn on your TV to watch the news at night and what do you get? More love,love,love. You open up applications on your smartphones and…you guessed it! Even more chessy love. Pass the sick bag.
And another thing! Chocolate didn’t even exit when Saint Valentine walk the Earth. How then did chocolate get hijacked by LOVE? Here’s how I see it. Chocolate is delicious. Chocolate is sensuous. Chocolate is indulgent. Delicious is good, right? Sensuous is great. And indulgent just rocks my world So why restrict chocolate to just one day? Don’t you want to eat delicious, sensuous and indulgent chocolate everyday? Especially on normal days when the price hasn’t been marked up by 75%. That’s not say that I`m a cheapskate. I’m anything but cheapskate. Cheapskate is just not a word in my vocabulary. But I can’t stand being ripped off when I want a little bit of chocolate around Valentine’s Day. It makes me see red.
And red is all I see, literally and figuratively around Valentine’s Day.I see red every time I go into a shop. Honestly, it’s everywhere I go. I go into the supermarket to buy some chocolate and I see red. Figuratively speaking, I go crazy. I go into a petrol station to pay for my petrol and in ten seconds, I see red. On the walls, on the counter; there’s red stuff everywhere. Don’t you think Saint Valentine himself would see red if he were to come back and walk among us again? For s start, he’d think we only ate chocolate and danced to Phil Collins ballads.
But there’s one Valentine’s cliché that’s worse than all others. It’s worse than the cheesy love songs on the radio. What am I talking about? Go no, what have I left out? Think about it. I’ve left out the most obvious Valentine’s Day cliché: red roses. Listen, I think red roses are lovely, but they are when you don’t feel that you must buy them. You must present them to your loved one in the most spectacular way. You must buy a variety without thorns and you mustn`t think about how much they will cost you. That’s too many `musts` for a day that celebrates love.
If I still haven`t convinced you that Valentine`s Day is a load of crap, well you can`t win them all! Maybe you`re one of those hopeless romantics who loves cheesy songs, expensive chocolates and red roses. After all, what do I know? I`m single.
By Justin McCarthy.